Power of Vulnerability

This describes so much of my recovery journey. Her theories have huge implications for sexual addiction recovery:

Holidays and Sex Addiction Recovery

TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS:

  • Identify threats to your sobriety and make a plan to deal with them.
  • Dailly contact with recovery support system.
  • Have a plan for unstructured time. Better yet, make a plan for each day.
  • Watch out for pre-trip and post trip emotional fallout as well.
  • Find additional recovery meetings to attend if possible.
  • Take healthy steps in your relationships.

Now, think about how your recovery journey was affected by your holiday and family activities, and write down items for the following two categories:

1) I’m glad I did this and I need to remember to do it again:

2) I wish I would have:

Sexual Addiction and learning to meet Your Real Needs

Several weeks ago Jay Pathak (Mile High Vineyard Church in Colorado) taught a sermon called Growing in Grace. In a portion of that sermon he laid out the reason quitting your sin cold turkey – without making OTHER CHANGES in your life – results in falling back into your sin.

Click below to listen to the 8 minute audio – It’s worth it!

Growing in Grace – Jay Pathak

If you’re interested in hearing the rest of the sermon, click here

Sexual Addiction Resources for Munich, Germany, and Beyond

Last month my family and I were in Germany, mostly Munich.

While in Munich I found the following resources for sex addiction recovery in Germany:

Munich / München / Muenchen

Homosexuals anonymous group:
http://jason-online.webs.com/termine.htm

Infos unter Tel.: 089-78018960
Email: klicke hier
Treffen in der Regel wöchentlich (Freitags 18 Uhr – ca. 20 Uhr).

There are many Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) Meetings in Munich.

SLAA is a bit different, focuses more on addictive relationships with a sexual element, but if you have issues with porn/prostitutes/masturbation etc you will find fellowship and help here as well:

To locate the meetings, go to the following URL and scroll down to München

http://slaa.de/meetings

Also, I believe there is a SAA meeting (Sexaholics Anonymous) in Munich, but I was unable to get a hold of them to confirm it:

SAA und COSA Sex-Addicts anonymous und Angehörige
C/o Himmelfahrtskirche Kidlerstr. 15
81371 München

There are also meetings in Frankfurt and in Bonn

http://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/OtherCountries/meeting.php?country=Germany

More info about the Bonn Group:

http://www.site4free.tk/users/saa/

Or, Electronic/Telephone based meetings all over the world:

http://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/ElectronicMeetings/index2.php

There is a great Christian Recovery Group in Bonn, called Celebrate Recovery:

hier gibts deise kirche die hat die programm, “leben finden”
http://www.matthaeus.net/matthaeus/leben_finden.php

Diese website hat auch gute Informationen von diesem Programm (videos, etc…)

and here is the leaders guide:
http://www.libri.de/shop/action/productDetails/5741935/rick_warren_john_baker_leben_finden_leiterhandbuch_3865910149.html
und fur teilnehmer:
http://www.libri.de/shop/action/productDetails/5739986/rick_warren_john_baker_leben_finden_teilnehmerhandbuch_3865910157.html

Also, I’ve been emailing back and forth with a guy who runs the following website:

http://www.cyberaddiction.org

He has been in recovery for many years and really knows his stuff. He has put together a program on his website that you can complete online. There’s also an online forum where you can seek help.

Self-Sex Addiction Therapy — What Do You Need Right Now?

I read today in the AA recovery daily reading (24 hours a day):

When we come into A.A., looking for a way out of drinking, we really need a lot more than that. We need fellowship. We need to get the things that are troubling us out into the open…. We need a new strength beyond ourselves that will help us face life instead of running away from it….Have I found the things that I need?

This is so true. We get into recovery because we want to stop our sexual behaviour. But we really need so much more than that. The sexual behavior is just the surface of the issue, the real problems go much deeper.

Focusing on what we need (healthy needs) and seeking healthy ways to get those needs met is a huge part of becoming healthy, as well as moving out of constant relapse into sobreity.

Think about it. What do you need today? Look deeper than the sexual needs. Do you need companionship? Do you need affirmation? Do you need a listening ear? Do you need rest?

If you look, God has provided for you, ways to get these needs met in healthy ways. Reach out. Receive. Grow.

Sex Addiction Therapy – Watching Your Moods

Today in my Recovery Journal 24 Hours A Day for Everyone I read: “Mind changing chemicals are poison to the addict. Mind changing moods are just as deadly to others.”

Watch out for extreme highs and extreme lows in your life. These are danger signs that relapse is coming. If you are feeling extremely heightened moods, it is often followed by a feeling of entitlement: “This is a time of celebration! I should act out sexually, I deserve it! Celebrate!” On the opposite end, extremely low moods are followed by intense desires to escape “If I could just act out sexually I would feel so much better and I wouldn’t be so depressed.”

Keep it steady. Celebrate healthily but don’t get too hyped up. If you are feeling down, get your needs met in healthy ways but don’t escape.

Mind changing moods can cause our balance to get off kilter. We are much more susceptible to relapse when our mood is extreme, whether it be high or low.

Sex Addiction Therapist

Quick video on how trauma in your life fuels your sexual addiction:

Click here to receive counseling over the phone for sexual addiction: www.jecounseling.com

Sex Addiction Therapy

These are the steps that I recommend for any sex addict looking for sex addiction therapy:

1. Get involved in a healing/support/therapy type group. These groups are different than 12 step groups, they focus more on daily support, sharing your story, healing from past trauma. This group wouldn’t even have to be an exclusively sex addiction therapy group as long as it is a safe place for you to share you daily struggles and the pain from your past.

2. Get involved in a 12 step group. This could be Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, or any variation, as long as you are involved and actively completing step work with a sponsor.

3. Get a therapist that can help drill down deep in issues that the above two groups are bringing out. Make sure your therapist understands sexual addiction. Many of them do not know what to do with a sex addict. Preferably a therapist who understands cognitive therapy.

These three elements are crucial for your recovery. If you try to do this by yourself, you will fail. Your sex addiction is a powerful force. It is more powerful than you are, or you wouldn’t be reading this right now looking for help. Just do it, you’ll find freedom.

You can also get on our group support line every Wednesday at 8:30 pm central. Details on the left menu bar of http://www.kicksexaddiction.com .

Sex Addicts Constantly Make This Mistake

From my daily reading today (from 24 hours a Day, AA devotional). Just replace the word alcohol/AA with sex addiction/sex addiction recovery.

It doesn’t do much good to come to meetings only once in a while and sit around, hoping to get something out of the program. That’s all right at first, but it won’t help us very long. Sooner or later we have to get into action by coming to meetings regularly, by giving a personal witness of our experience with alcohol, and by trying to help other alcoholics. Building a new life takes all the energy that we used to spend on drinking. Am I spending at least as much time and effort on the new life that I’m trying to build in A.A.?

I see sex addicts do this all the time. They go to recovery meetings every so often. Once a month, every other week, then miss two weeks, then show up for 3 weeks straight, then disappear for a month.  But without steady meetings and constant fellowship with other recovering people, they’ll see no progress at all.

The Addictive Cycle – RITUAL

In this video I talk about why it is CRITICAL that you recognize if you’re entering the Ritual stage of the addictive cycle. What I explain in this video was a key step in my own recovery from sexual addiction.

“Am I a sexual addict? What is sexual addiction?”
Click Here for Answers
(KickSexAddiction.com Intro Videos)

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