"When I came into this program, I came into a new world, a saner, sensible world of rationality, peace, serenity, and happiness. But I know that if I relapse just one time I'll go right back into that old world. That world of turmoil, that insane world of conflict and misery, is not a pleasant place for me. Looking at the world from the bottom of a void is terrifying. Do I want to go back into that chaotic, irrational world?