Today in my Recovery Journal 24 Hours A Day for Everyone I read: “Mind changing chemicals are poison to the addict. Mind changing moods are just as deadly to others.”
Watch out for extreme highs and extreme lows in your life. These are danger signs that relapse is coming. If you are feeling extremely heightened moods, it is often followed by a feeling of entitlement: “This is a time of celebration! I should act out sexually, I deserve it! Celebrate!” On the opposite end, extremely low moods are followed by intense desires to escape “If I could just act out sexually I would feel so much better and I wouldn’t be so depressed.”
Keep it steady. Celebrate healthily but don’t get too hyped up. If you are feeling down, get your needs met in healthy ways but don’t escape.
Mind changing moods can cause our balance to get off kilter. We are much more susceptible to relapse when our mood is extreme, whether it be high or low.
In this video I talk about why it is CRITICAL that you recognize if you’re entering the Ritual stage of the addictive cycle. What I explain in this video was a key step in my own recovery from sexual addiction.
An important step in getting free from sexual addiction is (1) recognizing the dangers of sexual fantasy and (2) realizing when you are habitually fantasizing about sex. This quick video talks about the FANTASY stage of the addictive cycle, and ways to recognize it.
One of the most important points to remember is this cycle that you go through each time you relapse. There is usually a very predictable cycle. It starts with stress or pain (see circle at the top) and progresses very predictably through all the steps until you end up back at the beginning. It can take a couple weeks to get through the cycle once, or you might complete the cycle every day. Learning to process Pain/Stress (beginning of the cycle) is the only way to stop it.
2. Follow my instructions in those videos IN DETAIL.
3. Find a local support group that understand sexual addiction, or join in on our weekly conference calls.
That’s all you need to get started! Just go do it, take action. Please contact me at the email address you see on the left if you have any questions, I’ll help in any way I can (but the first thing I’ll ask is, have you watched my videos?).