I had my support group do this exercise a couple weeks ago.

It helps to combat the power of shame in our lives.

Try it! Becoming aware of shame based messages that we feed ourselves constantly is the first step to becoming free.

Many of these messages are repeated below the level of consciousness, but they destroy our self esteem and then we run to sex for escape. Can you relate to any of these?

(From “Letting Go of Shame” Page 115)

Below is an exercise that I encourage sexual addicts to do from time to time to gauge how isolated they feel in key relationships.

Why?

Because the more isolated we feel, the more likely we will be to act out. Sexual addiction is an effort to “fix” our isolated feelings with sex. Sex gives us a feeling of connectedness, even if it is a total fantasy of connectedness. You can’t connect with an actor in a porn movie or image. You can’t connect with a prostitute. In reality, even a short lived extramarital affair is not true connectedness, it is merely a short term, unreal relationship.

But all these sexual activities feel like true connectedness. These sexually addictive activities feel like they are solving our feeling of isolation and loneliness.

Plot yourself on the chart below.

Identify where you feel most isolated. Then begin to connect on a deeper level in those relationships.

You’ll find your urges to act out decreasing dramatically.

About how we try to control our pain, past, fears by escaping to anger, sex, drugs, alcohol, resentment, food etc… and how we must release control

Some changes
are taking place with the weekly
sx addiction conference call.

My wife and I have another recovery program
(celebrate recovery)
on Thursday nights.

We really want to get involved
in this together, so I’m going to stop the Thursday
night conference calls.

UNLESS

You would like to be the facilitator of these
calls.

1. Requires weekly committment to be on the
conf call.
2. Requires significant progress in your
recovery (you don’t have to be relapse
free, but you need to have a basic
understanding of recovery)
3. Requires coming up with a thought
provoking question to discuss for the
each week’s conf call that will help
the guys calling in to open up and share.

Post a comment here and let me know
if you’re interested.

Tonight’s call is canceled.
Chad

P.S. Its been great doing these calls
and a real help for me personally as well.
I’d love to see them keep going, but I really
need to invest more in my wife and I’s
recovery together so I’m shifting my priorities…

Click Here for an example of how sex addiction destroys your life.

Take note of how many emails he sent during work time.

These 4 steps outline very clearly the path I’ve taken in my recovery.

Carefully following these 4 steps will bring you great freedom from sexual addiction.

Click here to listen to me describe how it works.

Shame is one of the main forces keeping us trapped in addiction.

Listen to this audio about shame and addiction:
(Click Here To Listen)

Then ask yourself these questions:

1. When was a recent time when you felt shame?

2. When was a time in your childhood when you felt shame?

Listen to this audio clip, it describes one crucial skill that you need to recover from sexual addiction. Are you doing it?

Click here to listen

Click Here to View the Matrix Comic That I Discuss in the Audio Above

Sex Addiction and Family Rules:

Listen to the audio file